Low Self-esteem,
You don’t know the first thing about low self-esteem if you think it’s that fucking easy.
It’s not as easy as waking up one morning and deciding you’re going to pretend to be happy; or that today, you look somewhat decent; or wow, you realise that falsifying confidence is something you can actually do; it’s not like that. That’s now how it fucking works. This is waking up every morning and realising that you can’t stand what you see, how you feel, how you are on the inside; that you are, as grotesque on the outside as your are inside; you are rotten. This is thinking you’re worthless, believing it, because it’s been said by everyone around you as much as it’s been said inside your head more than a million times. This isn’t about someone telling you otherwise, or fishing for compliments so that you feel better. This isn’t about hope, or thinking that maybe one day, someone will love you, flaws and all; no, this is having yourself internally wired to comprehend that maybe you are going to end up alone, and accepting it, because no one will ever love you. Because, at the end of the day, this isn’t about a significant other; this is about yourself and how you can’t love yourself; you loathe yourself, you’d take shards to your face and cut yourself open and rid yourself of the demons rippling beneath your skin. This isn’t some fad - it’s not something you fake. This is feeling insecure, even when you’re alone; feeling inadequate, even when there are no standards: this is a constant state of personal and impersonal dissatisfaction.
So don’t act like you know what this is like, or tell me that it’s easy, because you have no fucking idea.
