So yeaaah.. HI!
I’m going to be using a new tumblr acct though. Tryin to start off fresh, ya know? (: If you wanna follow it..
miahLauren is my new one. (: It’s naked right now cause I just made it, but I’ll start posting more really soon.
Thaanks!
[video]
& a different body. & a different personality. & a different mindset. & a different.. everything. I just wish I wasn’t me.
awwe, thank you! (:
(via ashleyjessicajew, kelvnguyennn)
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m jealous of a lot of other girls. Not just their looks, but their personalities. These girls that are beautiful inside & out frustrate me to no end. It’s not like I dislike them, I’m just jealous. I wish I had that all-around beauty. The kind that draws people in like bees to honey. Those kinds of girls make me wish to better myself, yet my looks & personality are (to some extent) out of my control. Putting on some make-up or spending hours on my hair doesn’t make me glow like they do. & forcing myself to act this way or that way, talk that way or this way, or be what I’m not won’t give me the natural heart of gold they have. It’s girls like this that I’m always passed up for. It’s girls like this that I want to hate, but find myself unable to. It’s girls like this that not only find what all girls want, but deserve to. It’s girls like this that make me green with envy.
You don’t know the first thing about low self-esteem if you think it’s that fucking easy.
It’s not as easy as waking up one morning and deciding you’re going to pretend to be happy; or that today, you look somewhat decent; or wow, you realise that falsifying confidence is something you can actually do; it’s not like that. That’s now how it fucking works. This is waking up every morning and realising that you can’t stand what you see, how you feel, how you are on the inside; that you are, as grotesque on the outside as your are inside; you are rotten. This is thinking you’re worthless, believing it, because it’s been said by everyone around you as much as it’s been said inside your head more than a million times. This isn’t about someone telling you otherwise, or fishing for compliments so that you feel better. This isn’t about hope, or thinking that maybe one day, someone will love you, flaws and all; no, this is having yourself internally wired to comprehend that maybe you are going to end up alone, and accepting it, because no one will ever love you. Because, at the end of the day, this isn’t about a significant other; this is about yourself and how you can’t love yourself; you loathe yourself, you’d take shards to your face and cut yourself open and rid yourself of the demons rippling beneath your skin. This isn’t some fad - it’s not something you fake. This is feeling insecure, even when you’re alone; feeling inadequate, even when there are no standards: this is a constant state of personal and impersonal dissatisfaction.
So don’t act like you know what this is like, or tell me that it’s easy, because you have no fucking idea.
My new BFF because he’s playing guitar & singing to me. <3
weeeeeeee.. from yesterday. xP
Favorite part of the day is taking my bra off before bed. Setting the boobs free is the best feeling.